Approach anxiety is a process when some guys have fear to approach women filling males mind with excuses, anxiety and pointless chatter.
Anxiety gives guys some negative feelings and experiences that terrifying fear of walking up to women and initiating a conversation. These feelings might be traced back to early human development, when to speak with unknown girls was dangerous for men. So, approach anxiety is a normal feeling and reaction that men have. It’s in genes. But it could also be derived due to insecurities, false beliefs and assumptions, limitation, ego and lack of confidence.
But what can you do to overcome these approach anxiety? How to deal with it?
The general solution will be to initiate conversations with the women you encounter throughout the day. The beauty of this technique is you do not have to worry about the results. Instead, you should use opportunities to practice your communication skills and reduce nervousness at the same time.
You should realize that rejection is a normal part of life – it’s no a big deal – people get rejected for all sorts of things. Often, it’s not because our personality, but because of the situation, different tastes or something else. It’s not the rejection that matters, it’s the way you handle it!
Also, you should change your attitude about women and all people as well. It is nothing wrong to go and start a good conversation with unknown people. Never fear failure “Oh my God, I can’t just walk up and talk to her. What if I fail?“ It’s important to remember that failure is a positive sign, because you can learn by your mistakes.
You should learn to use it as a learning experience and use this opportunity to increase your overall “dating skill set”. So the next you “strike out” with a woman don’t get frustrated. Just analyze the interaction and ask yourself: “Did I talk to fast/slow/loud? Did I show higher status? Was she available or does she have a boyfriend? Did I successfully create a dynamic conversation? Was I funny, charming and confident?”
It’s not a good idea to approach guys during a specific time during the week. If you do that (approach a specific time), then you would build up a lot of anxious feelings about initiating conversations.
You can quickly eliminate your anxiety if talking to women becomes your second nature. Stop thinking what to say. Just go there and say anything you can. Instead of letting your fears control you, try to reprogram yourself to approach without hesitation. Try to use “the 3 seconds rule“. When you see an interesting woman, approach her with the sole intention of just striking up a conversation. It becomes easier to stop your fears when you having a conversation in process. Here are some girls you can talk to:
• Checkout girls at stores
• Women who sit near you in class
• Any girl who helps you in clothing stores
• Females who work with you
• Any girl waiting on the line with you
• Women that you meet on trains and subways
Your confidence plays a vital role here. Confidence means that you deserve all the happy things in your world. Confidence is not something you just think for granted. It comes from pushing your comfort zone, momentum, challenging yourself regularly, and surrounding with positive attitude.
When it comes to women, everyone has certain strengths and weaknesses. For instance, some guys are great at approaching women, but cannot create attraction. Other guys can display a confident personality, but do not know how to build comfort and trust. So, if you want to increase your success with women, then you must be able to find the specific obstacles that hold you back. Then, once, you are overcoming these barriers in your mind, you should have more successful communication.
Find success in your failures. The way you view an event determines how much you can learn from each experience! If you develop a positive attitude about life, you will discover how to learn from each experience, how to deal with approach anxiety and how to grow as a real man!
- Approach anxiety (ballsyamog.wordpress.com)
- “Overcoming Anxiety, Stress, Phobias, Public Speaking Fears with 20 Tools” Today on Dr. Carol Francis Talk Radio (prweb.com)