Nice guy behavior refers to a pattern in some guys of being very nice to others, especially to women they like. It’s nothing wrong to be nice, but it’s wrong to be without standards, respect and value in your life.
Women need someone who is nice, careful and intelligent. They need someone who does not obsess their physical place too much, but at the same time has interest about them. They need someone who does not take them for granted. With other words, it seems that men need to be nice in order to have success with women.
But is this strong enough in order to be successful with women? If nice guys are what every woman really wants, why many “nice guys” finish last?
Here are some “nice guys” traits which stop men to be more successful with women:
Don’t respect yourself
Nice guys have a problem that they are nice to everyone. When you treat nicely or without any reaction people who are mean to you, they are being rewarded for their bad behavior. So, be careful and be nice only with people who respect you. Respect yourself, respect your time, your dreams and passions. If you don’t like something, just do it. Don’t try to change yourself or your ideas just because women don’t like it, but respect other choice. Most men try to impress so hard, trying to get girls to like them that they forget to be themselves. You should care about yourself, just because you know yourself better than anyone else. When you respect yourself, then you could expect others to respect you too.
Don’t have your own requirements and boundaries
Create standards for what you accept and what do not accept from other people, and follow your standards, always. Don’t put up with people who disrespect your personality, your family or friends. Have boundaries and enforce them. Accept your flaws and imperfections and focus on being better. Nobody is perfect. This is the most important step and concept to understand. Once you have mastered it, girls will come to you naturally.
Don’t be honest with others, but primarily with yourself
This is a mistake nice guys often do. They only pretending to be nice, but the real truth is that they tend to hide their interest. It looks like nice guy seems to hide it or pretend to not care. If a nice guy likes a girl, he usually doesn’t show his interest and as a result should be placed in the friend zone. Be honest with women. Women like when guys show her that they are interested rather than pretending to hide their real desires.
Don’t have high value
Value and love yourself. Nice guys failed to have a high value, because they are too available and able to give anything for any price. But people don’t appreciate anything that’s free. If you give her all of yourself just because she’s pretty, then what does that say about your value? It tells her you’re superficial, that you’re not worth much, and that any next hot girl will gain your attention easily. If, instead, you assumed high value, and really took your time getting to know her before you start showing her your deep affection. Then she should feel that and she will appreciate you more. Remember that you are a man and you deserve the entire good things in the world. Discover your values. What do you like or hate? Why? What kind of personality do you have? What makes you unique? What makes you happy? What inspires you?
Don’t be decisive and proactive
Nice guys need approval for any action they should do. Have you ever heard a man asking something like: “So, what can we do next honey? Can I please see you again?” Where can we go? What is our relationship? All that stuff sub-communicates to her that you are too insecure and have no balls to lead and escalate the relationship. So, do not seek her approval/permission to take action. Instead of asking “can I talk to you?”, just do it. Stop asking / looking for permission that you are acting right. Use your intuition and social intelligence and do what you think is good at the moment. It’s better to just kiss her and deal with the consequences. It’s better to leave her wondering if you enjoyed the date and will call her again, because it puts you in her thoughts.
Don’t be cool (in control)
Some nice guys can easily be getting out of control. So, learn how to be in a balanced state. It gives women feel in a safe mood. Bring awareness into what you spend your time and what really matters in your life. You can’t logically convince a woman to become attracted to you, but you can influence her body’s emotions.
Put girls on a pedestal
Typical for the nice guys is that they put a girl on a pedestal. They usually are obsessed and become to think, convincing their mind that she’s “the one”, she is gorgeous and she is different even though they do not even know her, yet. This intense focus of attention will only make her realize that these guys are so desperate, superficial and needy. This men’s needy state has its own name: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=oneitis
In addition, some guys pay too much attention showering her with gifts and / or over-complimenting her, but they finally found that this girl simply can’t feel attraction. It’s because being “nice” is not a way to barter for her attention. Attraction is not about how nice you are, it is about how attractive you are. To be attractive you should find the middle ground between being open and honest while keeping your deep emotional upsets hidden until long into your relationship. Allow her in, but do it slowly over time and after she deserves it.
Pay too much atention to what other say about you
Nice guys pay too much attention about what other people think about them. Caring about things is a good thing, but it could be a hindrance if you pay too much attention and ignore your intuition at the same time. The idea here is to stop fixing things that are out of your control. Let the other think what they want. Just learn about their mistakes!
Don’t become the center of your world
Nice guys, usually make a greater priority to the other needs, than their own. These gays lose their own personality and dignity. They think about other people (girls) who should give them the shine and point of the life. They are often not a challenge, but an open book. They can be easily manipulated because they allow themselves to be manipulated.
Never make a relationship or women your only source of joy and happiness. It’s not about to be selfish and arrogant, but to know that you are the most important person in the world and you should be proud with this. When you learn how to have fun by yourself, then you should attract and amuse everyone. Just need to find your inner talents, your sense of humor, your own confidence and things that dignified you to be a man who deserves to have abundance of everything.
- Get Out of the Friend Zone for Good Right Now (healthstream.typepad.com)
- Don’t Be Nice! (thoughtcatalog.com)
- How to Be a Bad Boy (kingjonestj2.wordpress.com)